HOW SAVING OUR MARRIAGE FROM DIVORCE LED ME TO BECOME A RELATIONSHIP COACH
I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT MARRIAGE ISN’T EASY
I’m a certified relationship coach, and I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for over 11 years (together for 20). The one thing I can safely say is that marriage is really hard sometimes. Like, really hard. But I’ve learned that at every dark turn, there’s a lesson waiting to be discovered.
One quote I often remind myself of is: “Remember the lesson, forget the mistake.”
As a perfectionist (someone who’d rather crumble my mistakes, toss them in the trash, and start over), I’ve really had to humble myself and learn to make art out of the mess.
Marriage is full of flaws. But once you embrace those flaws, take responsibility, and lean into your self-worth, the darkness you’re in begins to teach you something. It shows you that you had to go through it just to see how brightly you shine.
After all, shining stars can’t be seen in pure daylight.
MY #1 MARRIAGE ADVICE FOR NEWLYWEDS AS A RELATIONSHIP COACH
What I got wrong on my wedding day
Let’s go back to my beautiful wedding day. I walked down the aisle to meet my groom in a Catholic church filled with love, surrounded by our family and friends.
WHAT I was tHINKING:
The only thoughts running through my head were:
“Thank God the wedding planning is finally over.”
“Our happily ever after is finally here.”
I was in love… and I was very naive. Little did I know that the real planning I should have been doing was planning my marriage.
WHAT I should have been tHINKING:
“How will I prepare for the marriage, not just the wedding?”
“What skills do I need to build a lifelong partnership?”
If I could go back, I would’ve:
Turned to God much sooner and obey where God was leading me.
Searched for tools and tips for marriage success
Invested in new skills to help me grow as a person and as a partner
Started listening to more podcast
Learned that healing starts with me
FAST FORWARD 11 YEARS:
11 years later, that’s exactly what I’m doing:
I’m now mastering the tools that helped save our marriage from divorce.
I am becoming a better person by owning the brokenness I brought from my childhood.
I am finding peace as I practice choosing love.
I’ve become a certified relationship coach!
And I’m eager to share them with you so you don’t have to wait for a breakdown to start growing.
By educating yourself, you’re choosing to shine a light on your marriage. You’re choosing to water it daily so that it grows despite the weather it will endure. Life is hard, but you are tough. And I know that if I can do it, you can, too.
LEARNING HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Our story of surviving two near-divorces
Unfortunately, my marriage has seen it all. It’s not exactly an honor (and honestly, it’s pretty humbling) to type this out. But it’s also the reason I’m so passionate about helping other couples: Because I’ve been there, too.
WHAT WE WENT THROUGH:
Betrayal
Poor communication
Emotional distance and lack of boundaries
Resentment
Affair recovery
Jealousy, manipulation, and lack of trust
Financial stress
Death in the family
Addiction recovery
PTSD
Two near-divorces
If someone had told me on my wedding day that we’d face all of this… I would’ve laughed and said, “You’re a hater.”
WHAT HELPED US SURVIVE:
But here we are. Through all of my marriage struggles, I’ve discovered some of the most amazing tools. I’ve even become a certified relationship coach! If you’re searching for how to save your marriage or how to stop a divorce, I want you to know:
Tools exist.
Hope exists.
And instead of letting you walk through your relationship without them, I want to hand you some of the exact tools that helped us survive.
THE RELATIONSHIP TOOLS THAT SHIFTED EVERYTHING FOR US:
the empowered wife by LAURA DOYLE
I first came across this book in 2016. It taught me to focus on myself and stop pointing the finger at my spouse.
Then, in 2017, I stumbled across a wonderful Instagram account called @Marriage365. That single follow turned into a lifeline.
This resource has since pointed me to so many other amazing tools. And their app? It’s amazing! It dives deep into marriage and ALL the things you need to know!
SELF-CARE & SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE
As 2025 unfolded, I practiced self-care and turned my focus to God. I double downed on a morning routine that consisted of daily meditation, stretching and morning walks. In fact one of those morning walks is what guided me to Dr. Fishers AMAZING podcast!
One day, while exploring a course on the Marriage365 App, I came across Dr. Wyatt Fisher’s Marriage Podcast. He shares some of the most insightful tools and runs cohorts of students eager to become certified relationship coaches.
WHY I BECAME A CERTIFIED RELATIONSHIP COACH
In 2024, my health dwindled from the stress of an addiction that my husband and I were tackling. I had a mental breakdown, experienced deep pain and suffering, and endured a separation. Unfortunately, my health became frail and weak, just like my marriage.
I lost every ounce of hope. By the end of 2024, divorce came up again for the second time in our marriage. We were holding on by a thread.
Even worse, I couldn’t show up as the bubbly and fun Maria I once was. I just kept thinking about the example I was setting for my children by staying in something broken, but also by leaving.
I knew those two options couldn’t be the only options.
TURNING MY GAZE TO GOD
Slowly, as 2025 unfolded, I practiced self-care and turned my gaze to God. I was guided to meditate daily and take morning walks. During one of these walks, I came across a podcast on the Marriage 365 App that led me to Dr. Fisher’s Marriage Podcast.
It was here that I was inspired to become a certified relationship coach. Who knew that by surrendering to God, following the nudges, and seeking knowledge, I’d be guided to become a relationship coach myself and pay it forward? His program gave me the confidence I needed to practice my passion and hopefully help reduce divorce rates, one marriage at a time.
My approach as a relationship coach
WHAT I’VE LEARNED IN 20 YEARS OF LOVE:
MARRIAGE IS AN ADVENTURE.
One that’s worth photographing and embracing, even if it’s bumpy! I see marriage as two travelers who choose to devote the rest of their adventures to each other. Slowly unpacking their baggage from past experiences. Finding ways to show empathy and love as they work through childhood traumas together.
MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING YOU LEARN.
This is why learning the tools for a better marriage is so important. When you have the right tools, you can unpack one item at a time instead of everything all at once. We all know that an organized mess is better than a mess with no direction.
HEALING STARTS WITH UNPACKING.
Oftentimes, marriage suffers because of conflict that’s left unspoken. That conflict that eventually turns into resentment and disconnection.
I hope that in sharing a little bit about my marriage, you feel inspired to dive deeper into your own healing. The resources I’ve mentioned are amazing, but if you’re stuck, I’m here as your certified relationship coach to help you and your spouse unpack your luggage one item at a time.
I hope you dive right into Dr. Fisher’s Marriage Podcast and the Marriage365 App. But if you want to start working with me to unpack your luggage and learn new tools, you can either:
Book my one-hour relationship coaching session, or
Book a free 15-minute consultation with my husband, Anton Bernard, at Coach One Love (just scroll to the bottom of the page).
I can’t wait to share more about our journey and learn about yours.
MY FAVORITE RESOURCE FOR MARRIED COUPLES AS A RELATIONSHIP COACH
When I heard about Marriage365’s mission, I couldn’t believe how much it aligned with what I strive for in my own relationship!
Marriage365 is a membership to a whole library of content and resources focused on growing and connecting in your marriage. It covers topics like:
Communication
Family dynamics
Self-discovery
And everything in between
The content is self-guided, so you can learn and explore at your own pace. The membership also comes with two profiles (one for each of you!) so you can both take advantage of the platform without stepping on each other’s watch history.
Hands down, though, my favorite part of Marriage365 is the challenges, especially the ones that open my eyes to new perspectives. It takes 21 days to build a habit, and these challenges are a fun, easy way to get out of a relationship rut!
I love Marriage365 so much that I’ve even become an ambassador so I can offer you a discount to try it out, too!
🎉 Receive a discount off your first month when you use the code DECOINK, or register using the link below.
Join us in california this October!
We’re attending the Marriage365 Couples Retreat in Irvine, California this October, and we’d absolutely love to meet you there. → Check out all of the details for the retreat here!
